I took a little hiatus from my mediation practice. It was a little test. I thought that maybe I didn't need it anymore, that I had reached some stage beyond enlightenment that would allow me to transcend such needs. I was wrong.
I lit a candle and sat this morning. I tried to clear my mind and focus on my breathing. I had a rabble of butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I shifted and squirmed, trying to find a comfortable position. I considered getting up to remove my robe because I was too warm. But instead, I just kept sitting. Breathing. Before long the butterflies took flight and a calm descended on me. I felt empty, light, tranquil. I was only aware of my breath. There was peace.
I have learned many important lessons from the practice of sitting. Perhaps the most reassuring of these is that it is all about the practice. I don't have to strive for peace. I just have to show up, sit and breath. It almost always brings me to that still place within myself.
I am trying to apply this to my writing. Show up. Write. Let go. Stop striving.
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