Day 6

I feel obligated to feed my partner Bill. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this because I recognize that it represents a belief that is just a little insane. After all, I met Bill when he was 50 years old. He was not malnourished or disabled in any way. He even owned his own kitchen implements and a copy of The Joy of Cooking.

The girls from Sex in the City aside, most women I know feel this pull to take care of others, often at their own expense. We are taught and encouraged to be kind and self-sacrificing and nurturing and self-sacrificing and helpful and self-sacrificing. We continue to place ourselves on the alter of motherhood and marriage.

Years ago I read a book by Margaret Atwood about a woman who was engaged. As her wedding drew near, parts of her body began to disappear. Isn't that what happens to so many of us? We give parts of ourselves away until there is nothing left. We disappear.

The creative life is about self-expression. Before we can express ourselves, we must first reclaim ourselves. I am struggling to reclaim myself. The process begins by acknowledging, nurturing and honoring my own needs. Today that means cooking the food that I need and letting Bill feed himself.