Day 95

The work that writers do is crucial to the healing of world. They give us words to describe our desires, our joys and our heartaches. The words can move us toward understanding, the first step in healing. At least that's the way it is for me. I am a true believer in what Gloria Steinem calls bibiotherapy. A few days ago, Sylvia Boorstein, gave me the words managing gracefully. She named my deepest desire at this point in my life, particularly as I face with Bill the challenge of cancer. More than anything I want to manage gracefully. I know that it is what he wants for me, as well as himself. It is a gift I can give him and myself. It was always the fear that blocked my path to grace in the past. Loss triggered fear and I responded by trying to defend myself: I would lash out at anyone or anything I perceived as a threat, not very gracefully, I might add. Now I know that in order to manage gracefully, I must attend to the pain: the fear, the sadness, the loss and the regret. I have to sit with it and listen to it as I would a friend. That intention is what is most alive for me today.