Day 87

When Bill got sick a few years ago, it was as if he wandered into a dark labyrinth. Sadly, I followed. It didn't take long for us to veer in different directions: each of us alone and lost. It took me a very long time to find my way out. I am so afraid of being lost again. Since Bill's diagnosis a few weeks ago, I have been struggling with the question of how to take care of myself through the coming weeks and months. My instincts say that I should relieve myself of all unnecessary responsibilities: let go of the daily duties and obligations that consume my precious time. But perhaps it is the daily rituals that keep us grounded in times like these. Perhaps now, more than ever, I need to get up each day and sit and write and exercise and prepare the food for a healthy diet. These rituals keep me focused in the here and now; they help me to be present and aware. They are a touchstone when I feel myself being drawn back into that labyrinth.