Day 35

A few days ago I wrote about money, or more accurately, my lack of money. I talked about my struggle to come to terms with my decision to pursue a creative life, with little to no promise of financial gain. I said: "I am willing to pay the price for freedom but the real question is this: Is it necessary?"

This question prompted a response from a couple of my friends. With an estimated readership of less than ten, a response from two readers represents a pretty big market share. It made me wonder: What is it about this question that other people find intriguing?

I suppose that the whole notion of freedom is worth pondering. I never really believed that bullshit about freedom we were fed in school. It was hard to reconcile the notion of 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' with what I saw playing out at home. My mom would come home from her job in a factory, her hands bleeding, her eyes clouded by exhaustion. There was little energy left for personal pursuits of any kind.

I guess I was lucky to learn early on that freedom is all about how we spend our time. In his book, The Holy Barbarians, Lawrence Lipton points out that it is only the very rich and the very poor who have the luxury of time to pursue literature and art and music and reality television (OK, I added that last one). The middle class is screwed, so maybe we should all celebrate, instead of fretting, over its demise.

Freedom does exact a price. It may mean living in a mobile home instead of one of those mini-mansions that became so popular before the housing bubble burst. It may mean driving an old car and wearing second-hand clothes. It may mean being denied the right to participate in the Medical Industrial Complex. All tough choices in a culture that tells us that 'the good life' is furnished with all of these things.

Yes, given the choice, I would rather be rich. Some of my students tell me that anyone who works hard and follows the rules can get rich in this country. While I question this simple notion of meritocracy, I am willing to concede that anyone who is reasonably intelligent and willing to do anything for money can and will get ahead. But this brings me back to the question of freedom.

It is a lucky few who possess both wealth and freedom. Maybe if the stars align in just the right way, it will happen to me. I'm not betting on it. Instead, I'll get up everyday in my mobile home and put on my second-hand clothes and drive my old car to the coffee shop where I can read and write and enjoy the company of people I love.